Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Valentine's Day love letter to my family...

Dear Garret,
To say you are the man of my dreams implies my subconscious could even conjure up someone so amazingly perfect for me. That's not to say you're perfect, or we're perfect....you just happen to be the man to make me realize why all the others are no longer in my life. You are the missing piece, the answered prayer, the man a girl like me, with all of my history and insecurities could never believe existed. You complete me in a way that is not to say I wasn't whole before but you make me...better. With you, I feel strong...quite possibly for the first time in my life. I am not the broken, sensitive and unworthy of love girl I always identified with. I am a partner, a confidante, a cheerleader and a Mother. I am worthy and capable, all because you love me enough to inspire me to be. You see me the way I hope to one day see myself. You believe in me and see the woman I wish I were. I aspire to love like you do, unconditionally, whole-heartedly. You never cease to amaze me with your ability to forgive, apologize and work tirelessly to continue to grow our relationship. You make me love more deeply and laugh harder and I am forever grateful to you for choosing to share this crazy life, with these beautiful children with me. It's fair to say we never planned this life but the "mistakes" we've made together somehow feel completely intentional. You truly are my lobster.

Dear Madeline,
The day you entered my life was the first day it had real meaning and purpose. Before you, I was unintentionally selfish and knew only my own wants and needs... and even those I had no real clue about. Your arrival in my life was the first time I knew my purpose and that your needs would always come before my own. I knew I would do anything, even die for you. You have both frustrated and inspired me with your intelligence, wit, humor and confidence. You have a very sensitive and loving soul and while your spunk often is the butt of the joke and the reason for our endless frustration it is the wounded look in your eye if you feel you've offended, the apologetic tone with which you comfort if you've hurt that I see as who you really are. I  am endlessly proud of you and in awe of the woman I imagine you to become. I often wish I were more like you. I was always overly-sensitive and easily wounded. You are self-assured yet still kind and empathetic. I hope you are always this way. You both terrify and astound me. I find myself alternately bawling my eyes out in frustration, laughing hysterically and bursting with pride for you. No one person has ever solicited such a range of emotions from me. I always say I know we will be that Mother/Daughter duo that battles endlessly during the teen years to only become the most loyal and fiercest of friends. I pray this is true.

Dear Gavin,
You have taught me the propensity of my ability to love.  When I thought my heart had reached its capacity, you came into my life and proved it only grew exponentially to include my overwhelming adoration for you. Although we have only had a bit over one month together, we have a special bond that even I can't explain. Perhaps it's the old 'Mamma's Boy' myth. My usual tendency to stress and feel overwhelmed have been calmed by your sweetness. Even sleep-deprived, I feel a rejuvenation as a Mother. I have a calm confidence that you have helped me realize. You are so sweet and beautiful...when you look at me I can just imagine the gentle man you will be. You already seem to have your Daddy's laid-back, kind demeanor....what a lucky woman to one day get the joy of one day having you in her life (although this thought is horrifically disturbing to me. You're MINE, darnit!). In your short time with us you have made this family feel complete and without you, something special would be missing.

Love,
The Most Grateful Wife and Mother in the world
XOXO

1 comment:

Unknown said...

That was beautiful! Thanks for making me cry. :)

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