Sad day.

Two years ago today, my nephew Caleb was diagnosed with Leukemia. He had just turned four when he passed away. It was a mere 10 months from diagnosis to death. Our family is still grieving from his untimely passing. He was the sunshine of our family. For such a young child, he had such warmth, light, humor. His imagination and creativity were so beyond his years. I aways thought he would be in some form of the entertainment industry. He dealt with illness much in the way he traveled through life. His medication "pole" that held various meds and attached inconveniently to his IV was dubbed his "robot", making it more tolerable to tote around. The bone marrow running into his veins was "Spidey Juice", making it bearable to deal with the side effects knowing he would be as strong as Spiderman when it was over. He would vomit, wipe his mouth as though finishing a meal and continue to play. He seemed somewhat unaware...or maybe unwilling to accept his illness, even in the most unbearable moments of pain. He was truly an inspiration and I so regret that Maddie will never get the pleasure of knowing her cousin. I have thought alot about my sister and her husband today. Caleb and I were extremely close...I was his Godmother, I was there the day he was born. I was also there the day he died. I have grieved for my own loss, that the amazing boy I loved so much was forever gone. But I am now, as a mother, feeling a profound sadness for my sister. I was never able to be in a place of real understanding of the loss she experienced. Looking at my healthy baby girl, I am now grieving in a whole new way...it seems so unfair. But I know God had a plan when that sweet boy entered this world. Although his death has been devastating, his life has been such a gift. We now value our own lives, the lives of those we love, our health, our children in a way that I don't know we would have were it not for the suffering of the strongest boy I have ever and will ever know. I am committed to making sure Maddie knows she had a cousin and now an angel that will always be looking out for her.