Needing to vent....

When I decided to start this blog it was intended to be a scrapbook of sorts, documenting the activities, joys and celebrations of our family. I never wanted to make it about my personal views about the world around us as I hoped one day Maddie and now Gavin could reflect on just the memorable times we shared and not necessarily the "current events" that they could look up as they so desired. This, however, is something I feel compelled to write about, for them as well as myself.

This past Friday, a gunman forced his way into an elementary school in Newtown, CT, which is about 15 minutes from where I grew up in Danbury and killed 20 children, mostly first graders and 6 teachers/administrators after first shooting his mother in her home.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why I am so devastated about this....I mean, there are the obvious reasons: lost innocence, senseless violence....but I am heartbroken. Maybe it's the hormones, the very near impending birth of my new baby boy...most likely it's being a mother, imagining the horror of these sweet children facing a man, dressed in black pointing a gun at their faces and indiscriminately shooting at them. I am sickened at the grief these parents have to not have been there, to protect their children, as is the primary goal of all parents. Thank God for their teachers who, by all accounts were heroic in their efforts to protect them. My sister, who has lost a child to cancer put it in a different perspective. The loss of ANY child is tragic but she felt grateful to have held and comforted her son as his life ended, to make the remaining time she had precious and valuable. These parents did not have that opportunity. They had to frantically drive to the school, be ushered to the building next door and wait for their children to arrive. For 20 of them, they never would.

 There is much debate about gun control, school security, mental health issues etc stemming from this tragedy and while I have my opinions, I won't air them here. I am merely expressing my sadness and concern as a parent for this increasing propensity for violence. It makes me more aware of keeping my children close and being watchful all while realizing there is only so much we can do. There will always be evil and for those who want to harm, will find a way. I just pray my little ones are safe and feel a sense of security whether at home, at school....never having the fears these poor little survivors have to now live with.

My deepest sympathies and prayers to all those who have lost in Newtown....