The language of love.

I just started reading The Five Love Languages. It's a relationship book that aims to help you discover your and your spouse's "love language", which can fall into one of five categories:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Physical Touch
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Acts of Service

Sadly, I feel I need all of these things (can you say high maintenance?), but according to the self test, I fall into the "Quality Time" category the most. I guess this would be true. If I don't get some one's time, I don't feel close to them. This has gotten me thinking about other relationships in my life too. Garret is amazing at fulfilling this (with the exception of Basketball season, but it's his passion and job so I would never ask him to give that up to entertain me) but I have friends that I never see and although we have so much in common and they aren't upsetting me per se, I don't feel as close to them as the ones I spend more time with. It kinda all made sense. I envy friends who can go months without seeing each other and slide right back into their friendship "groove". If I haven't seen or talked to someone in that long, I find myself questioning the relationship ("how does she not have 5 minutes to make a phone call??") and feeling generally disconnected and resentful. It's because, according to Mr. Chapman, how I receive love. I question that love when I don't have the quality time.
So here's the hard part: that's my love language, not theirs. Just as in a romantic relationship, you can't expect to be loved as you love. You just hope that communicating your needs is met with effort and understanding. That said, although I feel I am fulfilled by Garret in this way, I may have some things to work out with other people in my life. I'm going to make a real effort to figure out other's language and try to be a better partner and friend.

Another detour on my ADD-filled road to a better me and thus an even better life. And the one I've got is pretty darn good.