It's official, Maddie's a "toddler". *SIGH*

I'm not sure why it's so traumatizing, but it is. You have this baby...this innocent, dependent little being that thinks you hung the moon. Then, BAM!! They start wriggling out of your arms, testing you with their will, rolling over mid-diaper change, biting (or wait...is that just mine?!) . The point is, it's all happening soooo fast! It seems like yesterday Maddie came into our world, screaming her little head off. I know that sound cliche', but really?? An entire YEAR has gone by? The changes and advances that happen in twelve mere months is amazing. Not to mention the impossible range of emotions you experience as a parent in those first months. Fear, anxiety, guilt, joy, pride, gratitude....it's so...amazing, really. God just prepares us for this roller coaster of emotions and changes and all the while we are molding this little person into who she will become in the world. It's an enormous responsibility. But what I have realized, is it is exactly what I am meant for. For the first time in my life, I have real purpose. Being her mother is my job, and I don't take it lightly. I just pray I am not messing it up too badly. ;) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!!

Our Little "Lady" is almost one...

Today was PARTY DAY!! We had Maddie's First Birthday Party at Grandpa Jim's clubhouse...Ladybug theme in full effect! It is my obsession that I will force upon her as long as she will let me. In my defense, I genuinely think she looks amazing in red. Totally her color!

I spent countless hours making a customized birthday banner, party hat, smash cake. I individually wrapped plastic ware in polka-dotted napkins. I painted, cut, decorated...it was exhausting. As much as I enjoy that crafty stuff, it was so much work that my almost-one-year-old didn't even notice anyway. Pppffft. Maybe she'll be impressed when I show her the pictures one day many years from today?

It was really fun though! She got tons of amazing presents and clothes and given it was waaaay past nap time, she seemed to really enjoy herself! Everyone enjoyed the food and watching her get icing all over her face. But I am wiped. I don't even have much energy for creative descriptors! See photos! ;) Next year, Chuck-E-Cheese's!!

Hide the dog bowl...

So Maddie was slow to crawl. Reeeeeeeal slow. She is a typical first child in that she is in no rush or competition with anyone. She'll do it when she wants to, thank you very much and would appreciate the patience of the adults around her who incessantly read about her ever-growing development. There was also the "leg thing". When she had an antibiotic injection with her Pneumonia, they apparently went too deep in the muscle and caused trauma to her thigh which would hurt when bent. So no weight-bearing, no crawling for quite some time. Then there was the Army Crawl phase. No white shirts. Ever. Unless of course you are in the mood to constantly do laundry as the dirty floor ends up all over her torso as she is pulling her little body around like a soldier navigating the trenches. She was good too. Now, FINALLY, she is big girl crawling. All over the place...specifically in the direction of all the places she is not allowed to go, IE: the dogbowl. She is also pulling up on everything. Where I could leave her in a room for a few minutes before I cannot divert my eyes from her for mere seconds anymore! Baby gates, outlet plugs and (hopefully minor) boo-boos are here to stay!

Mommy and Daddy desert the baby...

We finally did it...one month shy of her first birthday, we took a weekend away. No Maddie. I think we finally are getting to that stage of parenting where you have learned to balance being parents with being a couple. But I also feel like I lost a limb when Maddie's not around. I'm so used to caring for her that I find myself helplessly searching for someone to bathe or diaper (and Garret finds it weird, so he's out...). We went to Key West for three days. We had such a great time! We went on a snorkeling cruise, ate Cuban, rented Scooters, relaxed..it really was exactly what we needed. But I missed my baby girl so much. She was in great hands (Ya-Ya, Oma and Momo had it under control!), but I felt lost without her. We are such a family unit and I missed her being a part of us. When we got home, she was already asleep so the next morning we both raced into her room to find her playing with her feet on her back. She looks at us, puzzled as if to say "where have you been?" and then gives us the BIGGEST smile and clear as day says "HI!". Great to see you too my love.

To my Daddy...

Dear Daddy,

On our first Father's Day together, I want you to know you will be the first man I ever fall in love with. The first whose attention I will seek. The first who I will rely on to protect me. The first I will turn to in moments of sadness. The first I will compare all men to. You are my hero and I love you more than any words could ever say!

Love Always,

Maddie

Mother's Day 2010

Beautiful floers from my love

Lunch with Yaya and Tamra

All I wanted was a relaxing day at the pool and...

A new tattoo!!!!

The greatest blessing in my life is being my daughter's mother. I could not, would not change her in any way. She is beautiful, spirited, inquisitive, friendly, joyous...all at just the beginning of her life. I imagine her blossoming in all these ways through the years. I see her smiling at everyone she meets with a warmth that is genuine. I can just imagine her petting every animal she walks by. She will always be a good friend, I would think....a good listener, a sympathetic shoulder. I believe she, like her mother, will be unable to hear a beat and not move some part of her body to it. She may, also like her mother, have some sass, but never with the intent of being hurtful. And like her father, she will love unconditionally and shower those she cares for with affection. I can truly see all of this. I know she will make mistakes. I am certain she will break hearts and have hers broken too. There will be difficult times. But I, for some reason, imagine her as happy. Not the kind of happiness that is fleeting with a new purchase or spurning from the approval of others, but an inherent joy that emanates from her. She possesses it already. She smiles when the wind its her face, she laughs at the sound of others' laughter, she closes her eyes in calm to soak up the sun. She is my child. I could not imagine a life without her. She makes me see the world differently, myself differently. The insecure side of me that says, "I had nothing to do with her personality, she was just born that way" has given way to the side that thinks maybe all of the smiles I have given her, all of the love and affection, the time spent bonding and building a relationship, maybe I had a hand in who she has and will become. My life's goal is to help her become a strong, loving, joyous and confident woman. I am honored to be her mother. I pray one day she will feel as blessed to be my daughter.

PASGHETTI!!

I thought it might be fun to give Maddie a spoon and some spaghetti-os and see how much of a mess she can make! I underestimated her. I figured she may be a bit delicate with it since she had never done such a thing before. Maybe even a little grossed out. Uh...no. She went insane. It was like a presence overtook her and my sweet baby turned into something out of a science fiction movie. She was giggling this borderline evil giggle and proceeded to fling, rub, smash it everywhere. On her tray, on the floor, her body, her barely-there hair, me. What was I thinking??

I then decide to toss her immediately into the tub. Have you ever seen orange water? I have. It was so disgusting! As I'm pulling her out, I see another color. It's...floating...what is...OH MY...she has pooped in the tub!! Officially the grossest day as a parent I can recall thus far. Buuuut...she had a blast! I helped her with her hand-eye coordination (that's my justification, anyway) and allowed her to express herself, um, artistically. Buying any of this? Let's be real. I just wanted to see what she'd do for my own twisted amusement. She sure showed me!!