Earth Day!

 I'm a nerd over holidays...even the ones most people don't acknowledge. Any excuse for a craft and themed cupcakes.

I did, honestly, see the value in this one....Maddie is getting old enough to learn these important lessons about the environment. Even at 3 (almost four, as I am often reminded), she can learn about recycling, littering and the fact that we are but a small speck on a large planet, so our resources should be valued and preserved. Plus, we made "Earth" cupcakes and they were out of this world. I know....pathetic.

Sprummer!

I invented a season. Sprummer. In these parts we basically skip right over Spring and dive head-first into Summer. It's literally 60 degrees one week and 95 the next (with one million percent humidity!). Slightly annoying....I miss Spring and Fall. But, enough with the complaining...

If you can't have Spring, you at least gotta have a pool close by! Luckily for us, we have one in our back yard!

This was our first family swim party! I strategically placed the baby over my still 4 month preggo-looking belly....his chunkiness DOES come in handy.

We also are also lucky enough to have good friends with a boat...all the benefits with none of the actual responsibilities a boat entails (which I hear are many)! Gavin's first boat ride...he loved it! We stopped at a little island and grilled out and flew a kite, fished and threw a football. Ok, I sat around drinking Margarita/beer thingies my friend supplied but that other stuff happened. Honest. Pretty much the best day ever!

And more fluffy, gooey-ness about Ft. Myers, while I'm on a roll (cause this heat is gonna start to annoy me reeeeal quick)....our pretty great city park that has a water area for the kiddos. We have taken Maddie here as long as she's breathed air (and ceased pooping her pants)! Again, Gavin's first (of many!). In this heat the outdoors requires involving water, it's just too unbearable otherwise....

 Maddie's buddy Peyton and her Mamma met us there but they weren't much for pictures (or smiling for that matter...). We think they're getting sick, hence the crabbiness. Ugh, the dreaded summer cold. Aaaaaand, we're back to complaining. It was really just a matter of time....:)

Year one...down!

 We decided since we went to Key West for our 'mini-moon', we'd go every year and take a pic in front of the Southernmost Point holding up as many fingers as years we're married. I didn't quite figure out what to do after 10...toes?? 

Our friends made us these great cups with all the major Key West destinations, which we were to mark off when we had a drink in the cup from that place. First stop: Irish Kevin's. Duh. We did however skip Bare Assets (the name alludes to the type of establishment) cause, well, I don't care to see naked ladies. That is all.

We also get super nerdy about scooters. It's a mild obsession, really. We honk at all other scooters that go by with very few reciprocating honks...whatevs. Egos intact.

Ohhhh...and the dinnerrrrrrr.....there are no words. This was on a private island. The view, the food, the KEY LIME MARTINI....I could have eaten Ramen Noodles the rest of my life and felt I had the best meal possible. And I like food, so that's sayin' something.

The sunsets in Key West are pretty amazing. We sat on the pier and watched it creep into the ocean. It was so beautiful. 

 We didn't have much time there...about 36 hours in total, but we reeeeeally wanted to sneak in parasailing...it was my gift. I always wanted to go and it was worth the wait! So much fun! The guides were a bit annoying about shaking the rope mid air so we were bouncing around after I expressed some nervousness and dipping us ALL the way in the water when we only wanted to do feet (nothing worse than wet jeans, but alas, the chafing ensued...) but it was all in good fun so I took it in stride and nobody got punched in the face! The view from up there was awesome! The water is so blue and clear. Luckily I didn't see any sharks pre-dip...I was convinced one was gonna take my toes off...I didn't say it was rational.

Truly, it was perfect. Just enough time away before missing the kiddos too much but enough time to just enjoy each other and have a reminder of how much fun we have together and juuuust enough time of over-indulging in food and adult beverages to not require rehab (a diet may be necessary though, ugh).

I am so lucky to have this man, I can't wait to spend an eternity with him. I just hope he doesn't figure out he sooo got the short end of the stick. Bwahahahahaha..... 

Honest rambling....

So I read another blog today about honesty. Honesty  for no other reason that creating a safe and real place to connect...in marriage, friendship...any relationship, that with one's self included.

We sacrificially give into other's wants and needs despite our own to keep up appearances, from rocking the proverbial boat. But if we're just trying to keep everyone happy are we being real? Honest? With ourselves? One another? I have always struggled with this. Personal turmoil manifested into a smiling veneer over a broken bag of bones.

Must.Keep.Smiling.

 But I realized I was kind of losing, heck, not really even getting to know, myself. I never considered what I wanted...seemed too selfish. But isn't it equally selfish to do things merely for others' approval? So a few years ago (seems to have coincided with when I became a mother), I started to, in baby steps as years of  people-pleasing is one mother of a challenge to overcome, start to do what I wanted. I started to evaluate my decisions....am I doing this because I want to or it's what I think someone wants me to do or because I need the pat on the back? In my quest to find balance I often went the opposite extreme and became resentful and plain angry at a lot of people in my life. I felt taken for granted, unvalued..

I had to take a look at the role I was creating for myself. A few people seemed to not appreciate my less enthusiastic need to fit in, be at their every whim, kiss their you-know-whats. I still struggle with finding a voice...kinda like the little yelping dog jumping around the big, tough, self-assured bulldog, trying to get him to listen. I can often be too abrasive, in my quest to be heard. I'm still struggling with a happy medium.

Longing for approval is my worst quality. I despise it about myself and I am determined to never allow my children to feel this kind of need for approval. It's something I work at daily. I've had to step back from some people in my life. I've had to say no, or I don't agree with that. I've had to try to find a voice while also listening. Daily. Struggle.

The plus side?? I feel like now when I meet new people, new friends, I am my authentic self (Oh, Oprah how I miss you...). Take me or leave me. I will forever be kind, empathetic and there for a friend in need. I hope the people I care for know this always. But  I have set boundaries and feel a sense of self that I have never known before. It's liberating and I think, healthy. It sure feels better. I'm super indebted to my hubs and the little people for thinking I'm awesome despite my abundant misgivings. The fact that they think I'm great makes me wanna believe it too.

 I love the idea of honesty for honesty's sake. Kindly worded, respectful honesty but honesty nonetheless. We must communicate, honestly or what kind of relationship do we really have?? I hope to continue on an honest path and hope I can create a safe place for others to be honest with me. Seems simple to some and 38 is pretty flippin' old to learn this valuable lesson but hey, I'm forever a work in progress. I hope I never stop learning.