Feeling grateful...

I'm having one of those days today. I am feeling grateful...more so than usual even. I have always tried to see the joy in every moment, but today, I see it in a different way. Nothing special happened to spurn this sudden urge for appreciation. I went to the pool for an hour while Garret watched the baby. I floated weightlessly while basking in the sun. Garret's mom, "Ya-Ya" came over to visit. We took a nap together in the thunderstorm. Nothing special....yet more special in some way. Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe that's why I'm feeling all gooey inside. Lord knows I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. Don't dare put anything set to a musical montage in front of me. Serious waterworks, I promise. But I don't think that's it. I think I see my new little family and it makes me feel a real happiness and pride. I have this amazing man who loves me unconditionally and adores this baby like I didn't know men were really capable of. He wants to do everything I do for her (with the exception of nursing of course!) and do what he can to help relieve me, hence my pool excursion. I look at my precious little baby, who I cannot help but think is so perfect in every way. Even her cry is sweet to me. Loud, but sweet. We have visitors daily...to give love, provide meals, drop off a much needed coffee...whatever we could possibly need. So, while a small part of me feels confined to our little space with little contact with the outside world, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Maddie meets Maw-Maw...

Today Maddie met her Great-Grandmother, Elah. Elah suffered a stroke over ten years ago and her ability to express herself is very limited. This has been very difficult for Garret's family to see, as she was once a very vibrant, communicative woman. When Garret held Maadie close to Elah, her face lit up like the sun. She had a huge smile on her face and continually patted the baby and tucked her into her blanket...it was so sweet. Garret's Uncle Greg said he hadn't seen her smile like that in years. It was a really special moment.

Grow, Maddie, grow!

We had our "two week check-up" with Maddie a couple of days ago. Dr. Guttery says she looks great! In the hospital, she had an elevated bilirubin count which causes jaundice. It's fairly common, but her numbers were quite elevated for a couple of days and rising. In worst cases, this can lead to brain damage, commonly Cerebral Palsy. Since she was so little at birth, they felt we should expose her to the "bili lights" which we affectionately named her tanning bed. She had to wear these goofy little goggles...so precious. The lights can apparently be damaging to their vision, so she got to rock her goggles. She also had to supplement feedings by tube feeding her formula...what a nightmare! We both had to get up to feed her every two hours! Finally, my milk came in and we are exclusively nursing now! I find myself glaring at a sleeping Garret and thinking evil thoughts. He looks so peaceful, I kind of hope Maddie will create a smell he is unable to slumber through. I know...awful. He actually seems to understand my temporary animosity. Soooo....the number is now normal and she has grown two inches and is weighing in at six whole pounds!! Whoo-hoo!! She was down to 5 pounds, 6 ounces when we left the hospital. Grow, Maddie, grow!!

We have become "those" people....

You know the ones. They pull out a wallet-full of snapshots from birth to today, talk incessantly about how fabulous, smart, beautiful, etc. their offspring are, relate every story back to their children...we too have become "those" people. I suppose everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful baby on the planet. We are convinced she's rolling over, holding up her tiny head, smiling in response to our smiles and laughs. But I can't believe everyone studies their every feature, wrinkle, expression, pore as we do daily. But I suppose we all do. We parents are all "those" people...and we are thrilled to join the club!!

What spawned this sudden obsession? Three words: Madeline Claire Copeland. Arguably the sweetest thing to ever grace planet Earth. She entered the world on July 12, 2009 at 3:43pm, weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds, 15 ounces and measuring 18 inches long. She came via C-section wailing her announcement throughout the hospital with lungs clearly not befitting her diminutive size. I can't tell you how many times I heard "Wow...those are some big lungs for such a little girl." I remember few details about those first moments, as I passed out due to the medications shortly thereafter. But I remember her wailing. I also remember Garret sitting beside me watching the entire thing. Really??!! Who knew he would be so fascinated by my organs displayed on the table? He says now when he claims to love me inside and out, he REALLY means it. He watched in awe...I mean real awe. Mouth formed in a half smile, half grimace with terror and amazement in his eyes. Then there were tears. When they pulled her up and out and toward us, I think we both fell in love instantly. She seemed so big then. Maybe the drugs distorted my vision. Clearly, she was not big in any way...except for that big cry, that is. Minutes later, THEY descended. More family and friends than I have seen in some time all in one place! It was great...to see all the people that will be so instrumental in her life and who she will become surround us all with so much love and support. It was a moment of pure joy for me. I don't know that I have ever experienced "true joy" until that moment.
So, here we are, slobbering over her like a shiny new toy. Only this one will never become less interesting.